My Uncharted Journey

I am sitting here reflecting on the recent events of my life and wondering what's next as I travel this path. When asked the question of what do I want to do, my response is "I don't know." When indeed I know exactly what I want to do and why, but I am afraid to proclaim it because I'm uncertain of the way to go about reaching my dreams. I think I'm afraid of what people will say and the faith they lay in me. Yet ironically, outsiders tend to have more faith in me than I do myself. So, I'm at a state of confusion, lack of motivation and insecurity. I so desperately want a crutch or to be some type of dependent, but I don't think it's going to work this time.
The passion, the vision and creativity all lies within. I can try to write it and I can even try to explain it, but when I create it, then the world can receive it. When I put it into a product to share with everyone, then it makes sense. With that, I must be self-motivated this time. I have to take the tools set before me, and if not, then I must be resourceful and create tools. With that in mind, fear cannot be a factor. Yet I have been drawn in by such a feat. I've enclosed my horizon and I cannot see beyond a certain point. Everything I've written about and scrutinized, I have become. The tables have turned on this uncharted journey and I'm not happy anymore. I was happy when I created, I was happy when I spoke truth, and I was elated when I could write my life's story.