Ain't nobody real no more

Ain't nobody real no more
Ain't nobody real no more

People pumpin' collagen
Going to college and ain't gettin' nothin'

Educated fools
Lookin' at bowls of stool

This world is full of it

They said ain't ain't a word
But my Aint used to squeeze me with super hugs
And kiss me on my cheeks
And say, "ain't she cute!"

These hodgepodge grammatical rules suggest that I use proper suffixes and tenses
But their verbiage has prefixed my present tense with some bu!!$h!t

The I-N-G don't make nothin active in my presence
It is the I in thee, the I in me

With my eyes I see

Ain't nobody real no more
Ain't nobody real no more

Super glue, acrylic and hair weaves to hold us together
We used to weave winnow baskets tightly to hold stuff together

Now we shootin' baskets to get out the hood
Now we shootin' people for walking through our hood
And the police shootin' boys for walking with hoods

Ain't nobody real no more
Ain't nobody real no more

And mothers ain't big mammas no more
She a pretty young thang who like to get it on the floor
She twerk it low to the ground like her conscience
Because the man she admires said, "drop that thang on the floor!"

Then he dropped her like a lost phone call
Then they lost contact
And she tried to call back
But ain't no redo or reset buttons
Then baby came out cute as a button
And baby ain't have no man to admire
So baby grew up tryin' to fill a false desire

Everything baby learned came from environment
Baby learned fine arts from the finest music videos
Baby studied language arts from the radio station
And learned communications from mamma's phone conversations

Chit chats about reality TV
And real housewives that are single
And the status updates in real time
Fake comments and fake smiles
Fake friends to follow you
While paying dress up in the mirror
For a host of likes

Ain't nobody real no more
Ain't nobody real no more

We used to play dress up with our best friend
While playing house with her brother you had a crush on
Then our dreams got crushed on with isms and phobias

And I woke up with nightmares
I drifted in insomnia
Because Poppa was a rollin' stone
Who rolled up and drifted in the clouds

He ain't never come back down
And I kept searchin' like lost and found

I never knew how to get up there
So I looked up to the pretty young thang
But a mother she was not

She was my best friend and gossip partner
She was my chastisement and often absentee

So I looked to the programs for role models
I wanted to be just like the fair skinned model chicks
And learned class from late night flicks

So I needed to fix on my wide nose
A reduction of my hips
A little bleach here
And nip tuck there
Here a cut
There a cut
Every where is messed up

Ain't nobody real no more
Ain't nobody real no more




(Inspired by a young female artist I once heard speak to the people)

Writer's block

Why'd I stop writing you ask.

You see, I had a severe case of writer's block.
An astronomical something that made my creativity devoid.
It wedged itself in the middle of my flow,
Clogging and slowing the natural occurrences of my metaphoric melodies.
It bluntly halted my hyperbolic references to simple sentences.

You see, I had a severe case of writer's block.
It formed icicles where rhymes spouted freely
And a mass glacier over my zeal for words.
Repetitive thoughts not worth writing down
And a redundant life that brought forth no fruit.

You see, I had a sever case of writer's block.

I let go of my therapeutic remedy.

Out of the mind and onto paper where concepts become concrete;

Emotions released and the heart lightened. 

My favorite past time forgotten
And the joy of sitting in the windowsill with pen and pad lost. 

The words ceased.

I stopped writing.

I had a sever case of writer's block. 

What if?

What if my family never moved from Jackson?
What if I never left Lansing?
What if I attended that college I desperately sought after?
What if I chose not to attend college?
What if I let a lack of finances dictate my life style?
What if I were never self motivated?
What if no one ever believed in me or encouraged me?
What if I never attended Upward Bound?
What if I completed studies in architecture, psychology, or sociology?
What if I never pledged Delta?
What if I never loved?
What if I never lost love?
What if I were a product of my environment?
What if I never had Mount Zion?
What if I fell to teen pregnancy?
What if I fell to substance abuse?
What if I were never strong enough to make my own decisions?
What if I never left Atlanta?
What if I were married and started a family?

Where would I be? I am not sure, but those are not questions I have to answer. I am living with no regrets and I urge you to do the same.

My storyboard

Currently, my life is like a storyboard template with sketches and incomplete sentences. Ideas strewn about trying to create a big picture, but nothing quite coming together. Random occurrences and ill thought out plans to create a future of some sort, a future uncertain to present hopes. I keep reorganizing the ideas, but there is no natural flow pattern for this particular storyboard. The plot is generic and has lost its tenacity to reach a climatic point that preludes the dynamic ending. This story could take several courses, yet I am assured there is only one predestined outcome. Creativity is a struggle. The gift of choice and decision comes with great burdens and time sensitivities. How do I organize this storyboard and decide what makes it into the final script? Whatever this production transpires will be the story of my life. Stay tuned...

2013

The clocks have turned and 2012 is fast behind us as we zoom into 2013. A new year and new expectations for the masses. I chose to be realistic is setting goals for this year. I didn't need to change much from the goals I set last year because I am simply continuing what I began a few months ago. Projects are still in motion and I am thrilled about what is to come. It is my hope that people realize that the new year is just a day like yesterday. A new year can begin at any point in the 365 and a quarter days throughout the calendar just because a person says so. A new year is mental, unless you are dealing with finances and fiscal quarters. Whatever your position, commit to something and do it with great intentions. Claim your successes this year and be renewed in spirit and mind.

Happy New Year!

All hail sleep! (The continuation)

I slept well today. A burden was lifted from my shoulders and I laid in a comfort that had been lost. My body was snuggled under a green throw with my head nestled between the large brown pillow and mattress for hours. I turned several times, but knew it was not time to get up just yet. After I surpassed the normal siesta schedule, I emerged delighted at my day. What a perfect slumber. A refreshing and rejuvenating, deep sleep.

I march for Trayvon

I march for Trayvon because I live in a land of freedom and decency.
I march for Trayvon because life is to be cherished and honored.

I march for Trayvon because my nation is united in brotherly love.
I march for Trayvon because indignity has no dwelling in my country.  

I march for Trayvon to let peace reign from my footsteps,
Justice roll through my body and then out as I inhale and exhale.

I AM TRAYVON MARTIN! 

Ready, Set, Go!

I woke this morning and I was ready. God spoke so clear to me and I knew exactly what to do. It is time for a 'right here, right now' lifestyle. Use what you have until you get what you want.
My aim is so high that I had my head too far in the clouds. The air is gorgeous up there, but a quick trip back to solid ground makes me well aware. At the end of a day, it is me and only me. I have to do it. My destiny, my goals, my livelihood, this is all up to me. I would never discredit my higher power, but we all understand what faith without work is.
So, today I woke up with clear vision of what I need to do right here, right now. For this I am thankful, and I am in the ready position all set to go.

The Water

As the water fell over my body I hoped it would wash away my day. I needed it to revive me like the rain returning nutrients to the soil. As it gently poured over my slain torso and down into the drain, I wanted the hurt feelings to go with it. All the conversations could have disappeared with the water vapors ascending into the air. I yearned for the water to cleanse my soul. 

Hallelujah

Hallelujah I am saved today. There is food on my table and brand new clothes on my back. I have a car outside and money to stop by the gas station and fill it up. I must declare that I am blessed today. I awoke in a spacious apartment in a luxurious bed, and I sat up in my right mind. I thanked God as I rolled out of my soft sheets feeling refreshed and said, "Hallelujah, I am saved today!"

TRANS-FORMATION

I saw a Caterpillar slowly creeping along, moving one body part at a time to create an instant ripple effect. Its tiny body moved forward in very small increments of distance. Whatever its planned destination, I was sure it was going to take it an extremely long time to get there.
I wonder if that Caterpillar knows that it will be a butterfly one day? Does the Caterpillar know that one day it will be able to fly? Does it know that its biological make up is equipped to create a chrysalis for it to dwell in? During this time out of sight, an act of nature that cannot be duplicated will take place. A transformation will occur in the Caterpillar's biological make up and ability. It will become a butterfly.
The butterfly's wings will dry and then it will flutter about the earth, no longer moving at the speed of a Caterpillar. The butterfly has the ability to defy gravity and move at a new speed and portray a new color.
How long will the Caterpillar remain in its current state? How does it know when its time to transition into the next stage of its life? Surely no mistake is ever made, because when the timing is correct the chrysalis will be spun, the Caterpillar will rest, its body will change, and the butterfly will emerge. The transformation is inevitable. The crawling Caterpillar is predestined to become a beautiful creature. Does it know that it will one day fly?

Revelation, Realization, Relaxation

And so, I used to be an asshole, but you put your foot down and sad no. I thank you for that. Prior to, I ran rampant with vulgar utterances and thoughts with no discretion were all too frequent. Even though I still lack tact, you condemn much of my assholeness and I thank you for that. I don't have to elevate my voice because your temperament is so calm. This takes away from the crudeness of a harsh attitude. What you give off is what you attract. Your coolness attracts mines, your sincerity attracts mine, and your energy equals mine. The asshole qualities are surely eluding me and I say thank you.

Sincerely,
Charlie

4/4/2010 11:30PM EDT

Uncertainties

I'm losing it. My mind seems to be all over the place. In the wrong places and the way out far places. I just don't know anymore. What I was sure of has become a fogged vision. I thought I was a visionary, but I cannot see a thing. I pretend to walk by faith and not by sight, but I must see. It has to be tangible to make sense. Why can't I see it? Where has my mind gone? I have the common sense and not the physical recognition of the future. I know if I do one thing a certain reaction will come about. All that I am not certain of scares me into insanity. I have a control issue friends. I have to know, hear and see it all. Faith does not present such a deal though. I have to trust like I've never trusted before and it's driving me insane.

Emotion Commotion

There goes a calamitous sound, must be an Emotion Commotion. Must give thanks to that special love potion. Is it #9 or just 9-1-1. Quick get the squad car in motion! Before she goes down, or he goes down, or murder becomes the notion. Then murder will be the case that they give you, ALL Because of an Emotion Commotion. Emotions flaring because of the money we’re grossing, emotions dying because our hearts have been broken. Relationships have lost meaning because of morale corrosion. Life has beat and broken us like the earth going through the process of erosion. We’ve been displaced and worn down all because of Emotion Commotions. If you’d like a fix, have a bit of advice. Men don’t cheat, but settle with the lotion. Ladies don’t be dissatisfied, it’s not the ship, but it’s the motion in the ocean. I know, sometimes that just won’t do, but don’t let selfish desires elude devotion. No matter how loud or disastrous the Commotion, remember to balance yourself and have control of the emotion.

PLANet SOULution

What's the plan man? The day has slipped from my hand and no longer will I say "I can!"
No, I'm no longer a fan. Not of displeasure and not with heartache pouring through sweat glands. Drenched in remorse from this position that I stand, swarmed in harsh truths with this position I just can't stand. So what's the plan man? The day is no longer grand and the fiddle sounds with strum of a broken band. Reality has disband all dreams and future one night stands of pure pleasures and ecstasies of the unknown and simply play it by hand, or play it by ear, and in the capsule drips the sand, tick tocking away the day and no more "I can!" Because I cannot, I will not and you will not command. And that's my SOULution at hand, but still remains the question of the plan. Round and round my thoughts have ran, like a young pup chasing my tail, like a lost man, like a young child believing in fairy tales, Like tall tales in fantasy lands. But before this I made reality pop as I ripped it freehand. Making love spout, spirits grow and knowledge flow with no thoughts beforehand. I was the "Yes man!" The best cut and texture, the top shelf brand. And now, I'm not quite sure of the plan, not sure of the sudden future and on what stable ground it stands. But I'm not the man who builds a house on sand, I've got the actuality of and practicality of the sane man. Even he too sometimes jumps from the frying pan, yet into the fire and back again. Maybe I should blast off to my PLANet and plan it, and then maybe never come back to this disfigured land. In the mean time, I cannot withstand, withhold or supply the demands. This is my SOULution...No more "I can!"

Hypothetical Regrets

What if you left today and never came back on tomorrow? What if I never felt your arms wrap around my body again? And what if then your compassion was just a memory of yesterday? Would I lose my mind? Would the sun fail to rise, and the water cycle cease leaving all of life to perish? Would I perish if I could never wake up and see your face again? What then does the day become? And suppose I never had the chance to say, I love you...

What's Right is Right, Right?

I think and so I say, and I say it because I think it's right. I try to be every bit of encouraging in all of my righteousness. Still my blatant tongue lacks tact in my explanation, affirmations and exclamations. Yet I am right for communicating, and it’s always right to express yourself, right? In the event of a disagreement, there is the right to protest because we all have our own personal rights. As I express my freedom to thought and speech, I exercise my right to live. When I think, I live, and as I speak, I live. What’s right has to be, because it is the law of nature. You cannot go wrong when you are right, or is it that you lose with delivery? A message conveyed in an unordinary and uninteresting way loses its strength when put in the wrong voice. Is it then that what is right can be downright incorrect?

10 Unintentional Signs of a Woman's Company

1. She leaves hair in the bathroom after fixing it
2. She leaves a clothing item at your place
3. She leaves glitter or some make up on your face
4. She comes to visit unannounced
5. She takes up your time so that you have to postpone or cancel other engagements
6. She makes you deny the company of others
7. She leaves you smelling like perfume after embracing her
8. She causes you to lie about your true feelings
9. You grow and learn about life and yourself
10. You end up with a broken heart

My Day

You made my day. It was more beautiful than I ever imagined and so unexpected. I was elated when I walked in the room. My heart was overjoyed with feelings I had not felt in a long time. I didn't know how to react, and all I could do was smile. The insides of  me leaped like a child in an open field running wild. You made my day. Now I have a fond memory to cherish forever, and forever's are hard to come by. But I don't mind forever because longevity is the best. You were perfect and you made my day perfect.
Thank you!

In Love With the Idea

I'm in love with the idea of satin touches that send chills through the body
I'm in love with the idea of soft conversation that soothes the soul
I'm in love with the idea of shared laughter that warms the spirit
I'm in love with the idea of sweet nothings whispered in the ears
I'm in love with the idea of late nights turned happy mornings
I'm in love with the idea of a sincere heart that truly cares
I'm in love with the idea of forever
I'm in love with the idea
I'm in love
I'm in