The Ending is The Beginning!

So happy it's all over! Finally some peace-of-mind and satisfaction in knowing that I don't have to face another day in a particular chaos. I don't have to stand in anxiety with my chest squeezing the life from my words as I run out of breath. That is sweet relief in itself and removes a heavy burden from my soul. I feel much better already. Oh God I'm so glad its over, because another day would have been crippling and another week would have been sheer death.
Death comes in small packages. It comes in the form of the simplest things we love and indulge in. It comes in the form of the things we cannot live without. Work, money, relationships and a host of other things. Misused or however unhealthy the form of our death, we engage it head on. In this case, my death only lasted for nine months. It has been the worst nine months of my life and I have been pushed to an all new level of tolerance. The self-discovery has been irreplaceable and mind altering. The ending of this nine month journey has started the beginning ofself-satisfaction that I made it through a storm. I survived the realism of our society and now I can tell it like it is. My ending has invoked my new project. Watch out world! The end is near...

Daily Devotion

"May 6,
'Humble Yourself'
Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility].
Philippians 2:5
Humility comes from brokenness; brokenness hurts so bad, but it 'hurts good.' Brokenness comes when we learn that we are not hotshots after all. Brokenness comes when we judge others, and then realize that we do the same things they do. Brokenness comes when we think we are going to step out and do something great, and then fall flat on our face because we forgot to stay plugged in to God.
Brokenness comes when we give our opinion, knowing that we are absolutely right to the point of arguing about it, and then find that we are wrong. Brokenness is good for us. Brokenness leads to humility, and humility precedes honor (see Proverbs 15:33)."

Starting Your Day Right: Devotions for Each Morning of the Year by Joyce Meyers

I Believe the Children

I believe that the children are our future and a dim one it will be.

Piss poor role models have shown no empathy, positive communication nor respect.

So the children do not know how to apologize, problem solve and use logical reasoning or be kind.

I believe the children are going to experience some failure.

They lack the skills and training to produce manners that allow society to function productively.

Therefore the quality of life will continually decrease as it has and on into depletion.

I believe the children will destroy the future because they know nothing of the past.

Back to the shores and fields of entrapment the children were kept from reading and writing.

They were hung and limbs were severed at the attempt of any academic gain.

Ignorance meant oppression, and a people oppressed meant wealth for the Masters.

The children are made to learn today, but refuse to follow rules and apply themselves.
I believe the children will continue to be oppressed because they lack knowledge.
These children will teach their children and their children will teach the next.
Each loosing a piece of self until self has become nothing.
I believe we are doomed!

Hallelujah

Hallelujah I am saved today. There is food on my table and brand new clothes on my back. I have a car outside and money to stop by the gas station and fill it up. I must declare that I am blessed today. I awoke in a spacious apartment in a luxurious bed, and I sat up in my right mind. I thanked God as I rolled out of my soft sheets feeling refreshed and said, "Hallelujah, I am saved today!"

TRANS-FORMATION

I saw a Caterpillar slowly creeping along, moving one body part at a time to create an instant ripple effect. Its tiny body moved forward in very small increments of distance. Whatever its planned destination, I was sure it was going to take it an extremely long time to get there.
I wonder if that Caterpillar knows that it will be a butterfly one day? Does the Caterpillar know that one day it will be able to fly? Does it know that its biological make up is equipped to create a chrysalis for it to dwell in? During this time out of sight, an act of nature that cannot be duplicated will take place. A transformation will occur in the Caterpillar's biological make up and ability. It will become a butterfly.
The butterfly's wings will dry and then it will flutter about the earth, no longer moving at the speed of a Caterpillar. The butterfly has the ability to defy gravity and move at a new speed and portray a new color.
How long will the Caterpillar remain in its current state? How does it know when its time to transition into the next stage of its life? Surely no mistake is ever made, because when the timing is correct the chrysalis will be spun, the Caterpillar will rest, its body will change, and the butterfly will emerge. The transformation is inevitable. The crawling Caterpillar is predestined to become a beautiful creature. Does it know that it will one day fly?

Revelation, Realization, Relaxation

And so, I used to be an asshole, but you put your foot down and sad no. I thank you for that. Prior to, I ran rampant with vulgar utterances and thoughts with no discretion were all too frequent. Even though I still lack tact, you condemn much of my assholeness and I thank you for that. I don't have to elevate my voice because your temperament is so calm. This takes away from the crudeness of a harsh attitude. What you give off is what you attract. Your coolness attracts mines, your sincerity attracts mine, and your energy equals mine. The asshole qualities are surely eluding me and I say thank you.

Sincerely,
Charlie

4/4/2010 11:30PM EDT

Uncertainties

I'm losing it. My mind seems to be all over the place. In the wrong places and the way out far places. I just don't know anymore. What I was sure of has become a fogged vision. I thought I was a visionary, but I cannot see a thing. I pretend to walk by faith and not by sight, but I must see. It has to be tangible to make sense. Why can't I see it? Where has my mind gone? I have the common sense and not the physical recognition of the future. I know if I do one thing a certain reaction will come about. All that I am not certain of scares me into insanity. I have a control issue friends. I have to know, hear and see it all. Faith does not present such a deal though. I have to trust like I've never trusted before and it's driving me insane.